Thursday, October 27, 2005

Lost


There was a time when meadow,
grove, and stream,
The earth, and every
common sight,
To me did seem
Apparelled in celestial light,
The glory and the freshness of
a dream.
William Wordsworth.


Last night, I felt my heart break. I actually felt it. I actually felt the space within my heart where his love resided become empty…void. It is no longer there

My soul screamed last night

I felt my heart become vacant as his love left my heart.
I am lost.
My world is dark because my sunshine has been taken away from me.

Pain so deep, I cannot breathe.
Pain so deep, I cannot sleep.


What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now forever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower,
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
William Wordsworth

Monday, July 18, 2005

Recognize

So often we fail to recognize the positive steps that we have taken in our lives.
These may be small steps, but they are steps nonetheless.

You see, when you take small steps, you take your time.
You actually "see" what is unfolding before you. You remember these things and you learn from them.

Take a moment and look back....

You'll be surprised at just how far you have travelled.

Monday, July 11, 2005

We forget sometimes




We as humans, give our hearts to effortlessly to another...at first.

Over time we begin to build walls, become bitter, begin to not believe anymore in love, dreams or happiness.
We begin to feel that we will never feel that joy
Us, who want it to badly
Us, who would know what to do with it if we were ever given the chance to love

So sad that a person can hurt another with mere words, and thougtless actions.
The pain one may feels generally disapates after a bit, but why would we want to become so cold to pain, so numb?

Do we ask too much from one another?
Do we demand so much from our fellow human beings?

In the animal kingdom, I have noticed that animals do not suffer from breakdowns or go crazy, other than from rabies, which is a chemical imbalance. Animals love and love again.

Yes, they may become scared, afraid or even distrustful, but if you show them love again, if you take a moment and take the time to heal their wounds, they do learn to love again and in doing so, they do not hold you accountable for the previous humans errors.

Maybe there is a lesson to be learned there....

Buried


I picked up my heart and buried it today,
For it had fallen to the earth, in a thousand pieces

I tried to find all the crimson shards that had fallen to the soft earth,
But I guess the wind had taken them…somewhere

I never would have thought that my heart would be broken,
By the one I entrusted with my soul.
The one I entrusted my child’s heart to,
the one who made us believe
again

Never thought I would be sitting here, writing this,
feeling this,
afraid,
confused,
alone

Where does one go when they have been there, that special place, inside yourself when you believe
and you hope
and you dare
to dream.

I placed my dreams within your hand,
I placed them there ever so gently
I placed them there
Fragile as they were
I trusted your touch,
your words,
your eyes

I looked in your eyes and I trusted them,
You
I trusted

You closed your hand and crushed my dreams,
my hopes
my desires
my belief in love

Tiny crimson shards falling to earth, as you closed your hand,
tightly
as I ceased to exist

Friday, June 24, 2005

Dirt

I decided that I would plant a garden this summer. So, out I went and bought my flowers. I bought Petunias and some little red flower that my grandmother fondly called "Cones". I must have bought close to 24 little plants. I looked forward to digging in the ground and planting my new babies.

My mother stole half of my babies and planted them in her garden.

So, I came home from work and began digging in my garden. My dog, Buddy and my cat, Henney were with me. Watching closely, for what reason, I have no idea. At first the dirt was hard and dry, but quickly, the earth gave way to moist, soft dirt. I dug away, smelling the earth and watching the little insects scurry away at my intrusion.

I picked up the first plant and was amazed at the little life I held. It was a baby and with my care and nurturing, it would grow into a larger plant, an adult. Awesome.

So, I planted this little baby in the earth. I placed all its brothers and sisters around it.
I held the earth in my hand, patted it and shaped it. I felt its coolness and I was oddly at peace. I could feel the stress flowing from my fingers into the ground.

I watered my babies and sat back with Buddy and Henney and felt really good. They seemed to be pleased as well.

Each day my babies get a little taller.
Each day I get a little stronger.

In this world of complexities, it is the simple pleasures that yield the most pleasing results.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Words

If you did not listen to the words a person used, you would not be able to feel their soul.
If you did not listen to their soul, you would never know to whom you were talking.

Words are a powerful tool. They can destroy you or make you. They can give life or take it. They can bring hope or dash dreams. They can be cruel and crushing.

Oftentimes, we hear what we want. We see what we want because it justifies our actions. Manytimes, we don't want to hear the truth or face it. The truth is always frightening, but as surely as it is frightening it is enlightening.

Take a moment and listen to yourself. Do you hear what you are saying?
Take a moment and listen to someone else's words, do you hear what they are saying?
Do you even care?

"Hear their words, feel their souls."

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Preparation

Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you
to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you
have crossed the mountain.

For some of us, life right now is a real struggle. Bills to pay and no job. Graduations and no job. Without work, we tend to feel worthless. Our existence on this earth becomes questionable.

Whether we can see it or not, we are right where we should be. There is a reason why you may not have that job. Did you ever reflect that even though the job is missing, you are still eating, your electricity is still on and somehow, somehow, your phone is still ringing.

In the mysteries of it all, the Creator, whatever you may refer to him/her as, always provides us with the things we need, not the things we want. We are always being prepared for a bigger and better role in our lives. Preparation being the key word. Oftentimes, we are not ready for the bigger and better roles the Creator has planned for us. So we must be taken down a notch in order to see the bigger picture.

So, right now, you have stumbled over that pebble in your road.

Pick yourself up and keep going.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

The Nightingale

What is a Nightingale?
If you have heard a bird singing at night, it was a Nightingale. Nightingales are cousins to the Robin.

How I came by this bird was because I was asking my mother why the birds were singing at night. She told me that it was the Nightingale. At first, I was annoyed by the little bird's singing because I had become conditioned to first hearing a bird's song when the sun rises, twilight some call it, when the world is bathed in blue light for just a few minutes. Yet then, it became soothing, hearing the happy song of the bird. It was as if he was serenading me to sleep and I became accustomed to it. Now he is gone. You see Nightingales only stay in my area from May to early June. However, he will return in September. I look forward to hearing his song again.

Now that he is gone, I miss him.

We should never take anything or anyone for granted, because you never know when they will be gone.

Smile

Everyday you walk by someone who may seem insignificant to you.
It might be a person washing the windows in the office building where you work.
Or maybe they are the person who is cleaning the toilets.
Either way, this person is there, everyday, doing their job.

Did you ever say hello to them?
Or maybe smile at them?

As insignificant as these people may be to you, or so you may think, everyone has an impact on your life.

When you are buying lunch in the cafeteria or even some fast food establishment, did you ever ask the person how their day is going? For that matter, when visiting your doctor, did you ever stop and ask them how they are feeling? You would be surprised at the responses you receive.

The world is truly a small place and you never know what impact you have on the people you meet.

Therefore, speak wisely, smile kindly and be patient.